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06-17-2008, 10:21 PM PJN Joined on 08-08-2007 Be nice - I'm new! Advice Needed I'm not sure if many people will read this, but I really need some advice about a babysitting situation. I agreed to watch these two kids (4 year old boy and 7 year old girl) for a few weeks in the afternoons while their parents are busy. I've babysat these kids before and they were always a bit of a handful, but nothing too terrible. This summer however, I'm having a harder time dealing with them. I'm very safety conscious, so I really don't want to let them get away with things like running away from me and not wearing a helmet on the bicycle, but they frequently get very upset and have major meltdowns when I keep them from running into traffic or hitting each other with rocks. I understand that they are trying to test their boundaries and are sometimes cranky because they are hot/tired/hungry/miss their parents, but I'm starting to feel like I can't safely watch the two of them by myself anymore. I'm trying the time-outs and I'm being consistent and trying to make them understand that I am in charge, but it doesn't seem to be working. Its especially bad because the 7 year old is now big enough that I can't pick her up (and I am 19 years old and tall, so this is not a question of me being to small for the job) so if she is really set on doing something (e.x. running away down the street) there isn't a whole lot I can do about it. If anyone has any brilliant ideas on how to enforce basic safety rules and get the kids to listen to me I would really appreciate some advice. Failing that, I really don't think I can safely watch these kids. I've committed to babysitting them for the next two weeks and I intend fulfill my obligation, but they will most likely want me to continue for at least part of the rest of the summer. Can I just tell the parents that I can't babysit for them anymore, or do I need to give them an explanation? If so, is there any polite way to tell parents that their kids are driving me to an early grave? Any advice is greatly appreciated.    Report

06-24-2008, 9:19 PM babysitterlaura Joined on 08-12-2007 USA Getting to Know Us Re: Advice Needed First of all, all power too you, I wish you the best of luck. Generally what I find children respond to most if they don't follow the general rules/guidelines for an activity, is for that activity to no longer be available. For example, if they cannot behave outside, they will not be going outside, and I would explain to them that unless they are willing to except and follow the rules, there will be no outside time. And I would explain this to the parents too. If a toy causes problems, no one gets to play with it. If they hit each other with rocks they are put in separate areas. You remove what causes the problems. The other day for example, I was driving and the 7 year old in the backseat is around 55 pounds and sits in a belt positioning booster. She decides to start turning around and twisting, and put her seatbelt behind her and not sit in her seat properly. She would not listen when I told her to sit properly. So then I told her that if she did not sit properly like a big girl I was going to put her back into the baby car seat with the harness (I have one that harnesses up to 65 lbs). So if they don't listen and accept the guidelines that go along with a certain privilege, then they no longer have that privilege. Now, after I've written that long drawn out thing... I do not know how well you know these people. If you do not know them well you may not feel comfortable disciplining them to this extent. In that case, I would suggest asking the parents for suggestions on how to handle them or for example activities that they enjoy that would keep them both busy and hopefully safe. And yes, you can just tell the parents you can't babysit for them anymore. You can say you are busy, or you can tell them the truth. I would just go with "I'm sorry I'm not available." You don't owe them an explanation if you are not committed to them. I hoped this has helped at lease a little. Stay strong, and I hope maybe things have gotten a little better for you.    Report